30/01/2021

Oh the wind.

The wind blows. The wind talks to me.

The wind roars. The roaring of the wind. The wind lashes out. The wind knocks things over that go scurrying along helpless, rattling on the hard ground, the sound fading into the distance.

I hear the wind deep down in my bones. I hear and feel the wind at the centre of me and it feels so good. Outside it is cold, dark and windy and  the sound of that wind blowing brings me indescribable joy. A profound sense of comfort and happiness, at being cosy and warm inside while outside the elements rage.

The tempest rages.

The weather wails.

And I remember that exquisite feeling of being warm and snug as a bug in a rug underneath the covers, in my bed, with the wind howling and lashing the rain against the bare pane.

I remember.

 

31/12/2020

 

 

Quelqu'un d'autre

someone else

 

 

Personne ne t'aimera comme tu voudras être aimée

No-one could ever love you the way you want to be loved

 

 

Fait de ton mieux et moi

You do your best and I'll do the rest

Fais c'que tu peux et moi je ferai mieux

Do what you can and I’ll better it

 

 

 

 

 Someone else had to write it. I couldn't. I was too involved in it, too … the stakes were too high for me, I had no emotional distance no cool, no "recul" – yes, it had to be written by someone else.

 Il fallait que quelqu'un d'autre l'écrive. Je ne pouvais pas. J'étais trop impliquée, l’enjeu était trop fort, je ne pouvais pas prendre de la distance, rester zen, avoir du recul – oui, il fallait que ce soit quelqu'un d'autre qui l'écrive.

 Et au lieu de trouver quelqu'un d'autre pour l'écrire, j'ai gardé le stylo en main et j'ai écrit autre chose.

 And instead of finding someone else to write it, I kept the pen in my hand and wrote something else.

 Who's who and what's what

Qui est qui et quoi quoi

 Je m'amuse, j'ai ma muse

I'm having a good time, I'm inspired.

 


 

 

 

 

19/12/2020

Yes, this could indeed become a habit. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves or jump the gun.

 

Take a rain check. A lovely expression I guessed meant to check the weather before confirming an appointment. In fact it means “a ticket given for later use when a sporting fixture or other outdoor event is interrupted or postponed by rain.”

 

Take a rain check — politely decline an offer, with the implication that one may take it up at a later date.

 

However, this is not a postponement. It is a writing offline with the intention of putting it online by clicking on a button called “publish” but with no expectation anyone will read it. Years ago, when I started this blog, I had some kind of expectation of a reader stumbling on it randomly and I did, in fact, find such a reader once (or more precisely, she found me, or she found y prose) and she very much appreciated a tiny impro on the theme of a phrase from Shakespeare. Today my friend is bringing dessert from a well-known frozen food chain and calls it “Monsieur Picard” and I think why does she assume it was Monsieur who started the company and not Madame? The can of worms does not shrink just because we try to ignore it. There is a difference between men and women and it makes me think.