Fishing for a good time

PerhapsL&F -

Starts with throwing in your line. So sang Tom Waits.

So it’s a question of throwing in a fishing line and waiting for the bite

The tug

The pull

It is not cheating to throw in the line. You won’t catch any fish by throwing yourself in the water and threshing about.

You have to wait. You have to give them something they want.

And some of the fish will steal your worm and make off with it and remain free

but one fish will bite and be hooked

and for many an afternoon you will swing on the gate listening to the empty desolation of the wind

wondering about the brightness of the sun

the silence and the absence

yes for many a summer’s afternoon you will swing on the gate alone, looking at the ground, looking at the empty bottom of the street, looking

listening

waiting

being alone

many many afternoons alone

and then the mornings which you never notice, and the evenings, which come later, much later. It took so long to break through to evening loneliness and you haven’t ever really done it… not perfectly. It is never perfect. It was at one time and yet

whatever phase you are in you are not aware of it and waiting for some parameter to change …

you did not know you were free

and so you were not free

you were a prisoner

trapped in your routine

you used to believe in Brownian movement

you used to believe in chance meetings

you don’t anymore

how did this happen