Smother love

Tangled and fangled, wringing and singing, frizzed and tizzed,

That there, hair again gone to borrow.

You thought I was going to express sorrow

In the daily rut, glutting about strutting to tell tails to some avail

Every time finding no excuse, and no use for such despondent ab

jection

‘She wasn’t what I wanted her to be’

someone didn’t turn out quite write,

the reason ignored

perhaps just board, stiff or white, like the interminable knights we slept through, me and you, you and me, together.

You didn’t kill me so I have to kill you,

I sup o’s

Why only one survives I cannot fathom, but separation there must be

Cut the chord and let me be

in harmony with what I see and feel and hear and am

Between my two loves I kick and scream, shove and push, try to find my place

Until my egg tooth grows and off I goes out out into the bright

They’ll find the skin and realise I was the snake

But if I stay they’ll burn me at the stake, or tie me to the shore and let the rising tide rid them of the whore

And all those who are not she, cannot, no...

Even those she has been won’t let go of the habit, the train, automatic closing to keep out a pain, a danger, a possibility that would have led away from the

Straight sharp right path that keeps the roof

over my head, body

(the safe, dark, warm spot, calm place to lie down in after the human race)

rush, sclamber and frush to do do do their bidding

A sickening anguish in the pit of the stomach

haven’t had enough sleep yet, haven’t had enough rest yet, haven’t had enough,

yet

not ready to skip through the loops and hand over my poops for inspection (or possible rejection)

On, on, on it goes, throbbing toes, acrid nose, coffee at the Denfert Rochereau’s then swallowed by the sub-urbs

Some other time, in another place

Croy shore – the electric brae – in an Anglia

(I stared too long and too hard down a well, well, that’s what they say I

should have moved on

left behind

looked elsewhere, further up –

------------but I stared into space equally?

Then it was not the direction of your looking that was wrong but the intensity

You stared so hard that you prevented any awareness from penetrating

You wanted to understand so much that you only succeeded in grasping the fact that the brain can’t do it, can’t comprehend the universe at a glance and not take a chance on a false god

You were so far up your own r’s you didn’t see the farce going on all around you, and the superficial sideways glances that were winning smiles

By the time you were found, the trees were bare in that square

Oh my sponkyandulating pandelpopliminskiffslot

What if no-one cuts you down? For all I care_…

Link in a chain, I’ll say it again, explore mine until I find the seam

then dig dig dig until I’ve sucked it clean and you – oh my inaccessible Other – why wouldn’t you let me have a lover? -

The golden cow is here

And we valiant fatted calves must fight in the muck for the right to a suck

Methinks I should have had a tit of my own - toil and struggle, double hubble